RIP Morrie Yohai

My dad walked by my cousin and me with a bag of Cheez Doodles.
"Dad, the guy who invented Cheez Doodles died recently!"
He stuck out the bag to us and said, "Well, in that case, we need to celebrate his life by eating more CHEEZ DOODLES!"

Celebrating the life of Cheez Doodle's creator Morrie Yohai!

Scenes from Home

So. Here is the Hong family. Look at how happy we children look. And how spiffy my mom's hair cut is. And look how dapper my dad looks in his aviator glasses and suit!

This is how we decorate our house. We're just very creative.

It's  an opera my dad bought from Goodwill. He hasn't watched it, but he's very proud to have it.

This has been on my door for 5 years. I remember when I made it back in 7th grade, on the first night of SSMF. Soooo many good memories followed :D

My previous violin teacher, Mr. Ludwig, gave me these right before I went off to SSMF for another summer. I actually used them in the 4th of July parade. Nobody believed my violin teacher gave me that. BUT HE DID.

One of my old dance costumes that I found particular cringe-worthy.

...but this one takes the cake. We even had hats to match but I lost it.

This is part of a poster of DBSK I got from my friend in 8th grade. I used to be obsessed with them in very unhealthy ways. Micky was my favorite!! Too bad they're all wearing outfits too fruity for words.

I was a Girl Scout for 6 months and sold cookies in front of Walmart and everything. My vest was so heavy because of all the badges I got *sarcasm*.

My stand friend! He used to have eyes but they fell off.

So I put them on my bulletin board.

I made this in 5th grade and was SO proud of it because a fellow 5th grader said if I sold it, I would get $10.

I hate how blogspot doesn't allow you to turn your pictures. Anyways this is Mark Ross's 8th grade award...and for some reason I found it under my bed. I think he was trying to make me feel better about being a loser who wasn't an excellent writer.

So in 8th grade, I spent an entire semester writing a story that turned out to be 120 or so pages. Deanna actually took the time to print it out and made a cover for it and everything and I was soooo happy. It was an awesome present.

To show how riveting the story was.
"Epilouge." ....
"Derrick lived a life of suckyness."

Dear Dad,

I like the way you always tell me to watch out for duck poop every single time when we're at your campus.
I like how you always say no when I offer you food, but look so happy when I tell you I can't finish it and you eat it instead.
I like how you whistle the concerto I'm learning when you do the dishes.
I like your fobby outfits.
I like how you do push-ups and kungfu while you wait for the food to microwave or cook.
I like how you give in to buying junk food and hide it behind the bag of uncooked rice in the pantry so Mom won't find out.
I like how much you enjoy jokes that make fun of George W. Bush.
I like how you are always on my side without questioning me.
I like how you let me follow my dreams and never imposed on me your own dreams.
I like (but sometimes hate) how opinionated and outspoken you are.
I like how you don't yell at me for something I did wrong but already feel awful about.
I like how you like to talk to me about your mom and dad and how much you loved them.
I like how excited you get one somebody tells you that they like math.
I like how you're always shouting precautions to my mom and me as we back out the driveway to go somewhere, and stand there watching us until we've driven off.
I like how even though I must've been the most evil, unbearable daughter to raise, you still woke up every morning and fixed breakfast for me even though I just wanted to eat cereal and could get it myself. And that you always gave me a ride to school even if I spent the whole morning yelling at you for no reason. And how you always wake up at 3 am and check on me (I know this because most of the time I'm only feigning sleep). And sometimes you'll get mad at me and things get broken, but then later, before I apologize, I'll catch you trying to fix it with glue or tape. Or later you buy another one to replace it, and say nothing to me about it. And how you take me to all of my lessons even if that means you have to cancel or reschedule your tutoring appointments. And how you took care of me at home for an entire homeschooling school year and didn't go crazy.
I am going to miss you.
Love, Alice

This is why I'm ho--------meschooled

Choosing to change your schooling system is a risk, but I've never really thought through my decisions about my schooling. Whenever I felt that I needed a change and changed.
But the funny thing is, these decisions, made without any logical reasoning, make sense to me later on.

Like homeschooling.
One day I chose to homeschool, and I did. It was a decision made after having a lot of emotional moments, but actually choosing to homeschool was...blah. Nothing special.
But you don't just decide to completely drop out of a interactive schooling system after 11 years of doing so and just feel nothing.

Today, exactly one year after I told my guidance counselor that I was homeschooling, I realized that it all made sense. I chose to homeschool so that I could find stability.

Five years ago, before my 8th grade, I went a five-week summer festival that convinced me 100% that I was supposed to be a musician (another decision I didn't really think about). I applied to an arts boarding school and attended for a year.

I learned a lot about...everything. I learned a lot about the career I was going into and about the people who pursue it, but mostly I learned about life in general. I saw some people blossom and lots of people falter. There was something glamorous and awfully depressing about my boarding school. I took part in the mental instability as well.

Around the end of the year, I woke up one morning and was cleaning my dorm when I thought, I think I'm supposed to go home now.

I went home and attended Walton High School for two years. I had one amazing year where I forgot all of the cruel realities of life UNCSA showed me and had a blast! It was really as perfect a year as could be.

...which followed a gruesomely awful year. Mentally and emotionally challenging. Whatever it was that made this year so bad also effected my playing. Even my will to play was slowly fading.

So it's been a weird four years. I did a lot of traveling and a lot of changing. What I needed now, before college starts, is time to settle. Time to sort out my turmoil of a mind and find some peace and happiness that lasted longer than a year.

I didn't want flying colors this year or to have another life changing moment, like I'm always striving for. The best thing for me this year was just to take my time and do just good enough. I spent most of my time with my parents, with whom I've had a rocky relationship with since middle school, my violin teachers, and my ASYO friends. Now that I was homeschooled, I had the time to try to understand things I couldn't understand before. I learned to appreciate my parents and to appreciate stability. I was always looking for that thrill in adventure, but it got me trapped into a roller coaster of ups and downs. And I couldn't handle so many downs anymore.

So now I know why I homeschooled. I needed to finish this part of my life, not as a teenager with the world at her feet, but in a quieter, more stable conclusion. And to learn all of this, I needed this time to step away before I stepped back in. I hope this means I'm maturing.

I guess that also answers the whole thing about this year ending anticlimactically. I guess it's not wrong to ask for a little "hurray" but I realize now that my year is ending exactly how it should be: in a peaceful state of content.

Mommy!

I've had a Xanga since the beginning of time (for 7 years now) and I finally decided to open up a blogger. There's pretty much no difference between Xanga and Blogger, but I'm strangely giddy about starting one of these. I'm having fun picking out my layout and trying to decide what I'm going to write about; it's like a brand-new start!

I guess I find comfort in the starting of a new blog because right now we seniors are in the midst of an ending. Graduation gowns have been ordered, yearbook staffs are proofreading a few last times (although clearly embarrassing pictures are usually never filtered out in mercy), graduation party invites are spilling in everyone's Facebooks. Even though I'm home-schooled and I pretty much started summer vacation back in August 2009, there's that air of finality with me as well. We probably all have mixed feelings about it but doesn't everyone find it...a bit strange?

This is the pivotal point in our lives where "home" is a little less like home but more as a checkpoint we return to when we want to or feel the need to, and when we start finding our parents just a little less annoying and start to really understand their significance. This is our first BIG step away from home. I'd like to think a year at boarding school and four summers away at music festivals might have prepared me, but I have a feeling I'm in for some big, big surprises.

So these days, I've started seeing my parents in a new light. They are really...pretty cute. I've gotten more urges to hug them lately...I'm hoping, despite all my years as Bitchy Daughter, I'll be able to make this summer at home with my parents worthwhile.

I NEED TO FIND A SUMMER JOB! Anyone want to hire me? ...no, seriously, anyone?

Who else is staying home this summer?