Ordinary things

Yesterday I went to Target with Shejuti and Katy, while we were reminiscing about our 8th grade glory days. It felt surreal, to be with them in the present, rather than be with them in our 8th grade bodies acting up in Ms. Davis's class.

We ended up in the notebook section, and Katy spotted a planner with bicycles all over it. We spent a lot of time around it, admiring the different bikes on it and debating on whether to get it. 

By the time we left, Shejuti bought it. Katy was almost convinced that she would buy it.
She dropped me off at home and I entered my house, feeling full and peaceful.

The next day, I returned to Target to complete my dorm shopping list when I passed by the planner again. Before I could thing twice, I took it down and put it in my basket.

Back at home, I began sifting through my stuff and debating with myself whether they were worth taking to college with me. The whole time, I was reminded of Andy from Toy Story 3, deciding whether to bring his toys to college with him or not. And thinking of Toy Story 3, I pictured Daniella and her little brother, and Shejuti, sitting next to me, relishing the whole movie and thinking of our childhood memories watching the first two Toy Story's.

I decided to pack the dress I bought in New York even though it didn't fit me that well. When I saw it, I thought of going to my Juilliard audition and finally seeing the other side of my mountain. I remembered the relief I felt when I was walking through SoHo with nothing to worry about but finding a souvenir article of clothing. And then I would remember going out in that dress to Cheesecake Factory with Daniella, Edna, and Shejuti this summer. Our last get-together of the fabulous 8th grade four that survived so well all through high school.

I packed my headband, even though it was a silly looking one, because I wore it for my first and last ASYO concert.

A Sailor Moon fan because my brother gave it to me.

While I was packing, I thought of all of the things going into my suitcase and wondered if they would become coveted items like those, with the power to bring back feelings along with the memories. The most ordinary things become so special, so personal, so unpredictably.

And I put the planner into my bookbag, because it reminded me of Shejuti and Katy at Target, showing me that things were changing, but they were still here and tangible. Because it made me think that I didn't have to leave everything behind, and nobody was leaving me either. Because it encompassed the meaning of my summer before college, and my senior year at home...and then all the way back to the beginning of middle school, when I wore my house key around my neck and couldn't play Twinkle on the violin. Sealing it all for me so a new chapter can start and this chapter wouldn't be lost.

Spirals

So, this summer I actually learned a bit of ice skating!
I had my first lesson from Laura Sims awhile back, and I decided to go to one of the ice rink sessions and practice.
On my own. DUN DUN DUN.

I couldn't tell you how awkward I felt. When I stepped on the ice, I could barely pick up my foot. I kind of just pushed off with one foot and pretended something was wrong with my boot. Then I skated around in circles, around the people practicing scratch spins and backwards crossovers. I got faster and steadier as I went on, but for two hours, all I had the courage to do was skate in a circle and do occasional front crossovers.

Thursday I got to have another lesson from both Laura Sims and Star Ye.
I got there earlier than them, and I sat on the bleachers trying to work up my courage to go on the ice by myself.

"You can do it. It won't be awkward. Nobody cares about you. Nobody's watching. But it's okay if they are because you can do it. You can do it..."

45 minutes later Laura and Star came in while I was still pep talking myself, staring at the rink with determination. Their presence finally got me to go on the ice by myself while they laced up their skates.
I was waddling around when I saw Laura and Star burst onto the ice and basically take over. They showed me all sorts of spirals, their teamed waltz jumps, their spunky footwork...I don't understand why they're not on TV competing at US Nationals or something.

They went over waltz jumps (I was too scared to jump, so it was more like a waltz...step), backwards crossovers and pumps, lunges (again), spins, bunny hops, three point turns, and my favorite: SPIRALS!

Obviously this is exactly what I looked like.

Spirals are when skaters glide on one foot with their leg extended back behind them, as high up as possible. Before Thursday, I had attempted to lift my leg more than 2 inches off the ice and couldn't balance for more than 2 seconds. Star told me to lean forward while my leg went up, so I tried it and -

Wind was blowing against my face. My leg was up for miles. My head was practically on the ground. I stayed like that for a whole 30 seconds.

I watched the video Star took later and actually I was going about 1 mile per hour and my leg was pretty much level with my head. I lasted about 7 seconds.

But I loved the feeling. I felt like I really had control and that I was really skating like the people I look up to!
It was such a thrill and I HAD HOPE.

I practiced a bit more and got a bit better. And I'm going to keep practicing more BY MY SELF and get EVEN BETTER. I'm going to stop being scared of inevitably sucking and step onto the ice, flailing if I have to. FEAR IS IRRELEVANT. There are only 10 days left until college; who knows when I'll have time to do this again?

Thank you Laura Sims and Star Ye for helping and teaching me!!! I was smiling the whole time!

Tweenbot Day 4

Tweenbot is wired up. Everything works.
The problem is...
TWEENBOT IS TOO FAT T-T
As soon as I put the Tweenbot on the ground it would stop rolling.

My dad saw that I was upset, and while I was out of the house, he tried to make another, smaller body:

I found it on the table next to actual Tweenbot, which is standing on its head right now. It clearly doesn't work, since it has a hole in its stomach, but at its the thought that counts right? My dad is awesome.

The Great Ordeal

So I'm sitting here, window browsing the internet for pretty laundry hampers (to satiate my shallow desires), when I get a bite from the DIY bug. Utterly giddy about having a new project, I return to the bead box I positively roared at my parents to buy when I was 7 and only opened twice.

I worked so hard. I strung 89 beads in the matter of 45 minutes while reading WhatClaudiaWore and appreciating the fellow die-hard Baby-Sitters Club book fan's humor.

Do not mock me. I know you are all out there, closet BSC fans. Claudia Kishi should have a fan page on Facebook, and it would say "Recommended pages: Claudia Kishi. Many people who like Lady Gaga like this."

A blurb of Kishi-ness:
Anyway, I wore the coolest tuxedo I'd recently bought in a thrift shop, including a silky, piped shirt and a bright red velvet cummerbund. I removed the shoulder pads from the jacket, which made it really slouchy (I love that look). Then I bought a pair of white socks with silver glitter.

I decided to wear a pair of red sneakers to match the cummerbund. I swept my hair up and fastened it with a rhinestone barrette in the shape of a musical note.

Geezus.

I encountered one bead, which we shall name, Bead from Hell, whose hole was just small enough that the string could fit in but not go through. The Bead from Hell teased and tortured me for about 12 minutes. It occurs to me now that I could've just not used that bead.

I was just about to tie the knot when one end slipped - in the matter of 2 milliseconds - out of my hand and all of the beads fell off. Except two.

Degraded, humiliated, and pissed, I was forced to get on my hands and knees and look retrieve 89 ****ing beads for a stupid project that probably would've turned out really ugly anyways. And yet I decided to go for another attempt. I stopped after I encountered the Bead from Hell...yet again...to blog about the Great Ordeal. And also to show appreciation to the fact that every character in the BSC books has a legit Twitter account. God bless them.

Summer Goals!...and a little bit of sadness

I'M DONE WITH MY SCHOOL WORK!
WHOOOOOOOO!

I have a busy few days coming and very little motivation to get through them, but I'll try my best.
Tomorrow I have a short gig where I get to play a piece I wrote last summer (but am pretty bad at playing), and I have to relearn a Bach movement by tomorrow as well.
And then Saturday I have the union scholarship audition and ASYO dinner and another event.
And then Sunday is our last ASYO concert...:( I feel achy and confused when I think about it. But then we're going to party until I leave for China at around 5 am or so the next morning. :D

I need to say goodbye! AGH! GOODBYE?
I hate saying goodbye...
I have to visit my 5th grade teacher. I have to thank Ms. Bryan and Mrs. Link and Mrs. Miller for writing recommendations for me.
I have to say goodbye to Lori Gene and Dan and Lindsay and...and Mr. Flint...:( and all of ASYO...

...

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

At least...*sniff*...at least I don't have to say goodbye to Mr. Pu or Mr. Christy yet. (Yet.)

What a sad feeling. That "weird" feeling I got a month ago is finally sinking in. On the one hand, I feel the finality I was looking for. On the other, I feel terrible sadness, and I can't do much about it.

...except look forward to the future :D
Well my immediate future is pretty scary.
And then after these next few days I'll be coasting in relaxation.
I hate relaxing.
So here's a list of things I'd like to get done this summer:

- Host a garage sale! :D
- Make a blooper reel for Jere's 30th anniversary video
- Reread all the Harry Potter books.
- Go to Six Flags and SURVIVE.
- Learn how to tame my hair, bleh

(as you can see from above, I'm highly ambitious)

- Write a violin duet
- Work on Ysaye No. 5
- Learn how to ice skate! In honor of my fan-dom for Mirai Nagasu and Mao Asada.

Instructions Please

Well, it's May 3.
I made it through my auditions.

I got into college. 

I'm almost done with my schoolwork.
I have very few worries.

But for some reason, I feel unsatisfied.

Musically, I feel like all year I have only had the time to rush through pieces. Some of the prescreenings I recorded were of pieces I learned only a few days before recording them in my kitchen. Some of the pieces I played in my audition were learned a week before. The recital I played just recently was of a piece I pulled together in less than a month. And now if I want to do a senior recital, I'll have to work really fast for that too.

Academically, well...I'm home-schooled. I read my badly written 1970s textbooks alone in my dad's office at Clayton State University, and I'll receive my diploma....in the mail.

Socially, well once again I'm home-schooled. Enough said.

This summer I'm going to China and then spending the rest alone while the majority of my friends go to camp or vacation or something.

It's all kind of... anticlimactic.
...
Now what?
I want a bang! A huge celebration! Fireworks! Sky-writing!

Not really.
But it would be nice if there was some kind of formal closure. If anything, I just want the feeling of closure. That would be enough.

Mommy!

I've had a Xanga since the beginning of time (for 7 years now) and I finally decided to open up a blogger. There's pretty much no difference between Xanga and Blogger, but I'm strangely giddy about starting one of these. I'm having fun picking out my layout and trying to decide what I'm going to write about; it's like a brand-new start!

I guess I find comfort in the starting of a new blog because right now we seniors are in the midst of an ending. Graduation gowns have been ordered, yearbook staffs are proofreading a few last times (although clearly embarrassing pictures are usually never filtered out in mercy), graduation party invites are spilling in everyone's Facebooks. Even though I'm home-schooled and I pretty much started summer vacation back in August 2009, there's that air of finality with me as well. We probably all have mixed feelings about it but doesn't everyone find it...a bit strange?

This is the pivotal point in our lives where "home" is a little less like home but more as a checkpoint we return to when we want to or feel the need to, and when we start finding our parents just a little less annoying and start to really understand their significance. This is our first BIG step away from home. I'd like to think a year at boarding school and four summers away at music festivals might have prepared me, but I have a feeling I'm in for some big, big surprises.

So these days, I've started seeing my parents in a new light. They are really...pretty cute. I've gotten more urges to hug them lately...I'm hoping, despite all my years as Bitchy Daughter, I'll be able to make this summer at home with my parents worthwhile.

I NEED TO FIND A SUMMER JOB! Anyone want to hire me? ...no, seriously, anyone?

Who else is staying home this summer?